Dear Social Media Political Pessimists,
I’m gonna try to make this short and sweet. Like many others, I enjoy watching my President speak with the stream of
fuckery commentary from my online social networks in the background. Not particularly because I care about your opinions, but because you guys sometimes say funny stuff. But sometimes, you complain too damn much. I know Barry hasn’t performed the miracles that some of you expected him to perform. For many of you who were bums before his election, your lives haven’t changed too much since and so I understand the frustration associated with that. However, what I can’t get down with is when you talk about how the man has done nothing in his presidency, only because that’s simply not true. So I wanted to share a nifty little website with you
Go there, and just click for a bit. It might change your mind on things, but if it doesn’t rather than tweeting about it or updating your Facebook status, why don’t you write a letter to the White House? Or better yet, call your local Congressperson or Senator? I wish there was a feature that let us know if ya’ll even took the time to vote in November during midterm elections before you fixed your fingers to voice a e-complaint about the government. Because I’ll keep it funky: @BarackObama doesn’t read your tweets homies. Lets get busy.
The pollsters have been working overtime lately it seems. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there has been a lot of buzz about the results of two recent surveys that have been presented about people’s opinions about our president. The first was taken from over 2,000 card-carrying Republican voters, mostly from the South, and the second was taken from 75 ‘high-profile’ leaders of the GOP under the condition of anonymity.
Warning: the results may shock you…
TheYuppieDilemma.com has an important question for you: The last time you woke up, where were you? If you answer is ‘America’ then we’re in good shape to start. If the answer is also ‘at my desk…at work…in my office chair’ then it’s imperative that you read this article, as your security may be at severe risk…
It goes without mentioning that we here at theyuppiedilemma rank in the highest percentile of online publications in terms of progressive attitudes (really thorough and official looking statistics coming soon), but in case this is your first time reading, we just mentioned it again. We’re all about P.C. (that’s personal courtesy in case you were wondering) and were among the originals who have brought the reality to the surface that words do indeed hurt, perhaps even more than sticks and stones do. That is why we are currently launching our most aggressive campaign to date to regulate on Mr. Obama. Continue reading
Wooo Hoooo! Lets pack the bags for Cabo baby, the economy is finally back on the come up! I admit, when I first heard the economy was growing faster than Heidi Montag’s cup size, I was skeptical, but after reading the headlines, how can I not get excited for the good ole days to return?? Hell, even Ford Motors, who was a hop-skip away from being tossed in the pile with Pontiac and DeLorean, posted their first profit in 4 years! Anyone who would’ve been able to predict that would’ve surely been labeled an idealist. But a question that remains mysteriously unanswered: where the f*ck are the jobs?
It has been awfully busy here in the Egalitarian Yuppie Militia living war room. Tuesday, President Obama is going to announce his decision on what we’re going to do in Afghanistan, and right now rumor is he’s thinking about sending 25,000-30,000 more American troops. Now, we know that is sort of important news, but seriously, can you say media bias? I have yet to see ONE respectable news outlet (aside from tyd) that has mentioned my announcement on the EYM’s war strategy tonight. Everyone between the ages of 18-35 with a college degree better not get too comfortable, because the EYM is undergoing a troop surge of it’s own. Roll cameras you jabronis, because here comes the DRAFT!