You see, this is one of those products that I’m sure sounded really cool to the people who thought of it while they were drunk. Actually, We here at the dilemma are even having a hard time speaking out against it fully, because it combines to things that we love enough to have already posted on: Bicycles and flasks. But you can’t just combine two things that you like and assume that the outcome is something good. So unfortunately, the Surly Bike Flask & Spaceman cage is simply something we cannot endorse as a good idea.
This 6 oz flask comes with a custom cage that you can attach to your frame, putting it just within reach as you’re pedaling around town. Well, that would be a great idea, really. Except for the fact that there are multi-ton vehicles with engines that share the same road that will kill your drunk ass if you crash into them while riding one-handed and drinking spirits at the same time. Additionally, how one explains to a law enforcement official why they are reaching for their flask at a red light (if, of course, you stop for those while you’re riding)? I mean, unless the Tour De France is a bar crawl this year, I don’t see why anyone would need this. And the worst part is I can already see the back page story about the hipster who was pulverized by an SUV while they were riding their fixie (no brakes, of course) one night because they needed a little swig of hooch as they practiced their bike messenger maneuvers.
I’m not trying to be a jerk here. Not all bike messenger ride fixies and not all hipsters seek irony (did that come out right?). I’m also not trying to be a hypocrite, because those who know me personally may or may not have seen me handle the bars of the Millsybike when I’ve been a bit saucy. But in general, if you’re gonna be dumb, it’s not a good idea to advertise your recklessness in for the entire public to see. Drunk driving is a bad idea, and unfortunately we don’t live in a society where you can’t assume they aren’t on the road. But what if you saw someone cracking a beer open as they were driving?
Here us out. I know there’s going to be at least one tyd.com reader who looks to buy this flask. That’s fine, go ahead. Like we’ve said before, booze is expensive and we’re probably flasking it as much as the next person. But just do us a favor and don’t attach the cage to your damn bicycle. In fact, just leave your bike at home altogether. If it helps, think of it this way: that person you might meet tonight surely isn’t going to come home with you riding on your handlebars.
-MillsyF
(via CoolMaterial)
