The following public service announcement contains highly important information pertinent to the next 48 hours.
This is a friendly message to all fake inspirational people with photoshopped profile pictures or avatars, scorned women and aspiring, but mostly unheard of rappers reminding you that contrary to popular belief, 2012 will not be “your” year. This falls in line with last years data that tells us that 2011 turned out not being your year either, which also falls in line with the data from 2010 and earlier.
To remain within compliance, we kindly ask that you refrain from making any declarations of ownership of the upcoming year across any and all social network platforms. These include but are not limited to: Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+ and particularly Facebook. However, as a precautionary measure, most of you have already been hidden from News Feeds, muted from Timelines, or both depending on trend reports based off of your behavior in past years.
We thank you for your cooperation in this matter. We recommend that next year you do not wait until December 30th to admit your mistakes, get on your “grind”, remove all of the “fake people” from your inner and/or outer circle and refusing to be a part of “the bullshit.” However, in the event of an early annual transformation, compliance still requires that these reformations be kept private. Have a safe and Happy New Year!
-The Yuppie Management