With that pesky spill in the Gulf finally plugged and clean-up efforts (hopefully) making progress, somewhere a pelican angel is getting his oily wings. But in the meantime, yuptivist human beings are busy coming up with creative ways to raise money to cleanup this mess.
From the people that brought you the Obama Condom (“Hope is not a form of protection”) and the McCain Condom (“Old, but not expired”) comes the next logical step in crudely punny & gimmicky contraception: The Oil-Spill Condoms.
Now for the rest of this post, we will refrain from using the words gush, mess, pipe, deep drilling, or burst. While one would expect to be able to find this in their local gag gift store, right next to the mesh condoms, the reason we’re posting this is because 20% of all proceeds will be donated to help rebuild the Gulf Coast via The Gulf Coast Oil Spill Fund. The $50k they plan to raise will be made into emergency grants for nonprofit orgs doing their part to help folks affected by the oil spill. After seeing some testimonies from people there on the ground, we can’t emphasize enough how devastating this buffoonery is going to be for some people, and so they still need our help. However, there is an important issue that doesn’t seem to be addressed.
As funny as it seems, why would we ever buy a condom inspired by the leakiest event in environmental history? The packaging and the website say very little about how effective these things are at doing what they are supposed to do. And if their success rate was anything like BPs with stopping spills, it’s not anything to call home about. Unless of course you’re calling home to tell your parents that they are going to be grandparents. So while oilspillcondoms.com’s intentions might be superbly great, we might have to pass up on this one.
And honestly, at $30 for 10 condoms, we’re probably gonna do what we should’ve done in Iraq years ago: pull out.