Quick survey for our readers out there with significant others (disclaimer: if that person is right next to you, it’s all good. You can answer silently): Would you move in with your baby-boo, or vice versa, even if you two weren’t engaged? Be honest now, because if you answered no, the Joneses may be leaving you in the dust
Remember when it used to be taboo to even show a couple living together before they tied the knot? Well, the National Survey of Family in Growth has basically told us to get over it. It surveyed a bunch of women between the ages 15 and 44, and more than half of the group have lived with a partner without getting hitched.
I have my own place, and I love it. I love that if the last of the toilet paper is used, it was me who used it. I love that the channel will never be changed during my favorite show (wouldn’t miss Jeopardy for the world). I also love knowing that no matter how much I love someone, eventually they will have to…you know…leave and go back to their place. But am I really that old-fashioned?
The article continues to explain that 51% of those couples living together were married within 3 years, and 65% were married within 5. However, that still doesn’t reassure me because I can recall reading that couples who live together before marriage were more likely to get divorced. Another interesting statistic to note was that couples who married someone much like them were more likely make it to a 10 year anniversary. Yeah yeah, I know. Statistics don’t tell the whole story, but my dream of yuppie/activist romance blossoming into a lifelong marriage, a la the Constant Gardener just got dealt a heavy blow.
So tell me, what do you think of this? Shacking up the beau a bright idea? Maybe keep separate rent checks with the lady friend until you’re ready to get your knee dirty? I want your 2¢…in the comment section. Feel free to rant. Best comment doesn’t get to move in with me.
You DEFINITELY need to live with someone before you get engaged. How can you be sure you want to marry them before you know you can be around them 24/7 without wanting to pull your hair out? Just think about how much worse it would be once you told everyone you know that you’re getting married (or worse – that you’ve gotten married) and then have to call it off because you can’t take the fact that she doesn’t clean her toothpaste out of the sink, doesn’t do the dishes, or yells at you for . You should have learned this in college: just because you get along with someone (a friend) doesn’t mean you can deal with them as a roommate.
::in devil’s advocate voice:: Yeah, I smell where you’re coming from, but don’t you feel like living with someone you’re not engaged to might be funneling both of you into it in the first place? I bet a lot of couples do the “eh, we’ve lived together for this long, we might as well!” which might explain why they don’t last as long? Yes? No?
Me and the bf have been together for 6 years, we had 2 choices: use our savings to have the wedding we both want then move back home because we have no savings left or move out together, enjoy living together and out of our parents home for the first time in both of our lives and have the wedding we want when we have more money. The both of us agree we don’t need the marriage label ASAP. We love each other and don’t need a piece of paper to prove it.